The Emojis Every Fangirl Needs But Doesn’t Have
Dear Apple (and other people who run the world’s technology),
It has become very obvious to me lately that there is something missing in my life and you are the cause. Whilst texting this morning I had two separate occasions where my selection of emoticons was not sufficient. I fear that your coverage of fandom-related topics is patchy at best. Fangirls are not an audience that you should underserve! We are a vast technologically-obsessed population with incredible buying power. And we unite like no-ones business… if we set our minds to making something ‘a thing’, it will be ‘a thing’. Sure we can use our boundless creativity to create what we need, if the pieces are presented to us:
Example: While having an actual pony would be nice, My Little Pony ponies can be built by adding the horse head or the majestically running stallion to a representation of their cutie mark.
However there are plenty of instances when the required emoji’s are conspicuously absent. I am sure that fangirls around the world have found other holes in your emoticon repertoire (you should poll them to find out what they are) but I can only speak to the areas where I have found you wanting. Below is a list of my emoji demands.
Bow Tie – It’s probably too much to ask that Apple would slip a TARDIS into the mix, but would it do any harm to throw a shout out to the Whovians in their next batch of emoticons? Ideally it would be a bow tie & a fez, but I’d even just take the bow tie. Sure we’re on to a new Doctor now, but you’d still get me if I put a man with a bow tie right? Plus it has real world uses too! Dressing up for a fancy dinner? Bow tie. Trying to show that a guy is a hipster? Bow tie. Not to mention that simple fact that bow ties are cool.
Sword – I’ve questioned this one multiple times. Why no sword? “Perhaps they are trying to avoid unpleasantness and are trying not to promote violence?” you suggest innocently. I present…
Exhibit A: the gun emoji. Exhibit B: the knife emoji. And Exhibit C through E: The bomb, cigarette & syringe emojis.
Your argument is invalid. Apple, what if I need to describe an epic scene from Game of Thrones? Or invite someone on an intense Zelda quest? Or send a threat medieval style? I’m just not feeling the support.
Bow & Arrow – On the subject of weapons, how about you give us a bow & arrow emoji? This hits so many fandoms with one simple emoticon, it’s almost insane not to do it. The Tributes can pretend its Katniss’ bow. Book nerds can believe it belongs to Robin Hood. Comic book fans on either side of the Marvel/DC rift will be satisfied believing it is wielded by Hawkeye or Green Arrow, respectively. And Die-hard Disney fans can use it to represent Merida.
Pie – How does one talk about Supernatural without pie? It cannot be done. Sure there are a variety of demon & ghost emojis and even 2 angelic figures to represent Cas (I’d go with the more generic one ‘cause the other looks nothing like him) but Supernatural is, at its base, the love story between Dean & his pie.
Mermaid – This is very applicable to me. Possibly the most applicable. Not only do I want to be able to talk about things like The Little Mermaid/Once Upon a Time/Peter Pan/etc, but Ariel is my favorite Disney Princess. Plus I classify my style as Hipster-Mermaid-Grunge so obvi I need it.
Please Apple (and others…), help a fangirl out!
Love & Luck,
Kris, a Concerned Fangirl
But seriously, I’ll send a letter to Apple first then you guys can follow up with yours. Fangirls + Fanboys Unite!
Love & Luck,