TWoS: Farmer Chris’ Bachelorettes (Pt 4)
Only One Week! I can hardly contain my excitement…soon I will be able to resume my regularly scheduled judgmental sass! In case you’re new here let me explain…
Tuesday Walk of Shame is a weekly blog series where I take a look at the newest episode of The Bachelor (or the Bachelorette or whatever spin-off is currently airing) and discuss. I’ll tell you what I loved. I’ll tell you what I hated. And most importantly, I’ll tell you what I would have done differently.
Vote Kris for a decidedly different Bachelorette.
Because socially anxious, kinda bitchy, hopelessly un-romantic nerds deserve love too.
To prepare for next week’s premiere lets get to know the last 7 of Chris’ potential mates. To see the first 23 (yes there are 30 this year! Thirty!) check out Part 1 + Part 2 + Part 3. And make sure to pull up the judgements next week and use Tuesday Walk of Shame as a guide as to who is who during the first meets.
Occupation: Cadaver Tissue Saleswoman
Hometown: Manhattan Beach, CA
Her bio is all well and good but I had trouble focusing on anything past her occupation. Cadaver Tissue Saleswoman? What does that even mean??? Is it really just a fancy way of saying she sells organ on the black market?
Occupation: Fashion Designer
Hometown: Los Angeles, CA
Samantha gave me nothing in her profile. She seems like a computer generate person they put with a stock photo to psych us all out. Just wait until everyone has to react to a tennis ball while filming so that they can CGI her in later.
Occupation: Executive Assistant
Hometown: Sandy, UT
I get the feeling that Tandra is down to Earth and normal. Her music taste (“All kinds.”) shows shes open and her greatest dating fear (“peeing my pants from laughing so hard”) displays her fun sense of humor. I think she’ll be a good match for Chris.
Occupation: Sport Fishing Enthusiast
Hometown: Ft. Lauderdale, FL
Again: Sport Fishing Enthusiast? What does that even mean??? Is she a fishing groupy? Does she just sit beside the lake and cheer…whilst not having a real job? She seems like a country bumpkin…with wanting her date to specifically open the truck door for her and loose morals when it comes to identity theft (“I went to a different country using my identical twins’ I.D. and passport. Obviously it worked just fine.”). Perhaps that will be good with Farmer Chris…?
Occupation: Fourth Grade Teacher
Hometown: Wellington, FL
Tracy is another Bachelorette who seems startlingly normal. All of her answers are ones I’d expect from my friends. I like that I don’t hate all of these women, but it makes me worry that we won’t get our regular fix of caddy drama. Fingers crossed.
Occupation: Special Education Teacher
Hometown: San Clemente, CA
You’d think a woman with two graduate degrees would be able to say the word diarrhea…and not call it “di-di.” I couldn’t even give her a chance after that. Plus the 4.0 comment just seemed braggy.
Occupation: Fertility Nurse
Hometown: Chicago, IL
And we leave off with a girl was made for the Bachelor: She’s needy (Most Afraid Of: “Being alone.”). She’s hopeless…lyromantic (“I’m a complete hopeless romantic.”). And she wants “a man who wants to be pursued.” Well Whitney get pursuing because you have 29 other ladies to compete with!
Make sure to check back on January 6th for my thoughts on January 5th’s premiere! And check out the other prejudgments (Part 1 + Part 2 + Part 3) to recap before it begins…or follow along as they come in!
Love & Luck,